Keeping Secrets

When is it okay to keep secrets?  I have recently been keeping secrets from my dear hubby.  I know things he doesn’t, because I started creating the secrets.  I have found that it has been really hard to do since we tend to share everything with each other.  He reads my blogs and we are both on Facebook so he sees all my posts.  This year on June 9th he turned 50, along with that on June 12th we celebrated our 28th anniversary.

I started keeping these secrets as far back as February when I started sending out secret requests for friends and family to send me birthday cards to put into a birthday scrapbook that I wanted to make for him.  It is amazing how many times I had to resend the requests to people that are really dear to us, but alas, what is urgent to me may not be urgent to them.  In my opinion, whether they sent a card or not, just my asking for one from them, let them know how important they are to my husbands life.  I don’t know the reasons behind them not sending a card but since I asked for hundreds of them, I am glad that not that many came in.  Who knew making a scrapbook would take that long especially when making it in secret.

This type of secret I feel is okay to keep, it is one that was created to be a blessing to someone I hold close to my heart.  There are other types of secrets that are harmful.  The ones that make you feel ashamed of who and what you are.  Are you a drug addict, an alcoholic, a survivor of any type of sexual abuse, someone that wants to quit smoking, quit gambling, quit over eating?  Are you someone that lost someone through divorce, breakup, death? Are you a parent of someone that is going though an addiction?  Do you have anger issues, do you have low self esteem, do you find yourself wanting? Those types of secrets are the ones that make you want to hide in the dark, shut out loved ones and friends, and just give up.

I have been going to a program called Celebrate Recovery for 18 months now.  It is a Christ centered recovery program designed to help anyone with any hurt, habit, or hangup find healing and recovery.  You don’t have to be a drug addict or alcoholic to attend, I first started attending it to support my husbands ministry, but by attending and acting as the women’s group leader, I have worked through the 12 steps myself.  I Knew that I had childhood hurts, and adult hurts that I needed to recover from so that I could be the woman, mother, wife that God intended. I answered the tough questions in the workbooks, I am still learning how to let go and let God. I am still trying to find the new me.  But I am not giving up.

Recovery never ends, there is always another hurt, habit or hang up that comes along.  Each time we finish working the 12 steps we start over again, change the answers to reflect what is going on this time around and find another new me in the process.  The wonderful thing about this program is that it is world wide, some where in your community there is a program for you to find.  All you have to do is search for Celebrate Recovery Chapters in your area.  Walking in the door the first time is the hardest thing to do, but when you do and you find the warm, loving group of people that will love on you, support you, encourage you, and walk with you through your recovery, you will want to go back again and again.

Prayers for you and your secrets, may you find a way to release them to the light of day that will promote healing in your life, your relationships, your soul.

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