A Letter to My Sons

To My Dear Sons,

I know I tell you all the time how much I love you, you both own a piece of my heart I never knew I had to give.  I look at you and talk to you, and my heart just jumps wildly with joy.  I am so very thankful that God chose me to be blessed to be your mom.

Growing up was hard for me, the destruction of my innocence and trust of others made me guard my heart and shield my trust, but you both broke through that barrier in ways I never expected.

Alan, I had you at a time when I was alone, no family near, and no man that I could trust with my heart.  I felt you move and wiggle and even hiccup while I carried you.  I knew you were a boy, I prayed for a son that looked like me.  I didn’t trust this world with a little girl, I knew the dangers that awaited a little girl and I didn’t think I would be able to protect her.  So I knew that a boy was what I needed.  I called you Alan the whole time I carried you.  The day you were born, after they made you cry to get your first breath, I spoke to you, I said “Not now Alan,” and you just stopped crying.  The nurse exclaimed with surprise, “He knows his name!”  When I had you I was alone, just you and me in the hospital.  It was you and I against the world and nothing was ever going to make me give you up.  You have owned my heart ever since.

Alan, you have always been on the go.  You couldn’t wait to get here, you came 6 weeks early, and just ready to explore the world.  You never have slowed down; you charge forward and rush to get things done.  My advice to you would be to slow down every once in a while, take a breath, and just enjoy the moment.  Let some of the moments linger, they go by so fast that you miss out on the joy some times.  You love with your whole heart, and sometimes that can be over whelming to others.  Step back every once in a while and let your girl breath too. But don’t ever stop loving; you deserve to have a love as intense as you are.  I love the young lady you have chosen to be in your life, she has a way of calming you that I have not seen before.  I pray that your life be rich in happiness, love, and complete understanding of each other.

Adam, I had you after I met your father.  He helped to restore the trust in my heart.  He showed me that not all men were alike.  We tried so hard to get pregnant, it took longer than we wanted, and even then you were a surprise since the doctor had told us it would be impossible for me to get pregnant. We both wanted a baby as soon as possible (5 months seemed like ages as I waited for that magic blue line).  When I found out I was pregnant, I prayed for a son that looked like his father.  Once again I prayed for no daughters.  I still could not in my mind protect a little girl from the possibilities of life.  I listened to your heartbeat, and watched my body change, and I loved you unconditionally. With you I had to learn to share.  I couldn’t be selfish and keep you to myself, you opened my world just a little more by being there.  Your dad and I had a $1.00 bet while I was pregnant; Dad said you would be a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.  I said you would be a boy with blonde hair and brown eyes.  I won, at least for a while, you had blonde hair when you were born but it has darkened quite a lot as you got older. Still, I won; I knew God would answer my prayers. He knew the fragileness of my heart.

Adam, you have always had the old soul, more mature than your age.  You took your time getting here, 10 days late and breach on the day you were due.  You have always contemplated things, thinking things through and weighing the odds before tackling something.  But when you make up your mind about something you push forward and tackle it head on.  You also love with your whole heart, and because you do you are easily hurt.  But you make me so proud of the way you handle the hurt.  You don’t let it rule your life; you keep going and continue to move forward only expecting the best from everyone.  My advice to you would be to let go every once in a while and do something spontaneous without thinking it through.  Spontaneity in small doses keeps life happenings unexpected.

I prayed that the lady God brought into your life would love God as much as she loved you.  I prayed that you would complement each other in temperament and that she would care for your heart as well as your mind.  You chose well, we love your wife and the man you are when you are with her.  I continue to pray that you will complete each other as you travel through this thing called marriage.

Boys, you both have grown to be such honorable young men.  I am still amazed that from where I came that I could contribute in any way to the type of men you are and have become.  You are the answers to lots of prayers.  You are the joy that makes my life complete.  Just knowing that you are in this world and that you will both influence the lives of so many more people than I ever imagined gives me goose bumps.  I know that God has something special planned for you both.  Before you were mine, you were His.  You are still His, He only gave you to me for a short time, and you will be His for eternity.

I love you more than you will ever comprehend; you were and are my greatest gifts.

Love you with all my heart,

Mom

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Alan McDonnough
    Mar 05, 2015 @ 19:16:25

    I love you too Mom!

    Like

    Reply

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