Anger Buttons

First let me clarify, that I am not a morning person.  I need to get in the shower as soon as possible after I wake up.  The warm water does something that soothes me and wakes me up better than anything else does.  It washes away all the negativity from bad dreams or the icky feeling of allergies as I wash the sleep from my eyes.  During the week it is not difficult to follow a routine, I am usually the first one up so I have a chance to focus and wake up.  Sundays are usually backwards, I am the last  one  up, and the last in the shower.  So was very discombobulated later than normal.

While my son was showering, I sat down and talked to my husband for a few minutes.  There is a situation that has come up recently outside the home that has made me very very angry and very disappointed.  That anger has managed to come home with me; with that on top of my usual early morning grumpiness, my husband noticed.  So as we talked this morning I made the comment to my husband.  “I am having trouble flipping the anger switch back to off.”  He thought I was angry with him, but I let him know that that was not the case.  He said “You are letting people rent space in your head.” I know he is right.

At church this morning the sermon hit the nail on the head.  Psalms 46: 1-10 with the main focus being on Verses 1 and 10

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  As I listened to the sermon told in a way that I never considered before, I discovered that through my anger, I have failed to search for Him as a refuge – a place to go to release these feeling and close them out of my heart and mind.  I also failed to see that He was my strength.  He was where I should have turned to give me aid in strengthening me and reminding me that I was not alone, that the situation has not only been seen by me, it is being overseen by Him and that all things will work out in His way.  I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know the reasons why this situation is happening and I may never know.  But I do know that I will try my hardest to follow verse 10 more.  “Be still, and know that I am God…” Be still and listen – the answers are there, the outcome has already been foreseen, the situation will be made right when it is His right time.  All I can do is take a long cleansing breath, say a prayer for those involved, and release it all to Him – the one who knows all, the one who sees all, and loves me even when all I can do is see red.

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