Trust Issues

Trust is a noun on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2.confident expectation of something; hope.
3.confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4.a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
5.the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
I am finding that there are different levels and degrees of trust and they all depend on the situation.  For instance, when you are a child you trust that your parent or parents, which ever the case, will keep you safe from the bad guys.  They save you from the monsters under the bed each night, they leave a night light on because they know that you are afraid of the dark.  You trust them to know what to do for you what ever the situation.  Unfortunately some children find at an early age that someone they trusted for safety fell way short.  When that happens, trust becomes a mountain you have to climb.  Having been one of those children, I found that it was difficult for me to trust in some areas of my life, but trusting way to quickly in others.
Would the man I married be trust worthy, keeping our vows, honoring God and our marriage?  Would my best friend stick by me through think or thin? Would the people I work with or for honor their word?
I found myself as a young adult trusting way to easily and getting hurt very badly.  I was told many times that I was naive, that I believed in people too quickly.  I still have not found a way to not do that.  I look at a person on face value and I trust that their word is their pledge.  If they say they will do something I truly expect them to carry it out.  This trust is proving to be more difficult to hold on too.
Lets go back to those questions I had and go through them one by one.
Would the man I married be trust worthy, keeping our vows, honoring God and our marriage?
I would have to say yes to those questions.  He has been faithful, he has honored our vows that we wrote together, he is honoring God by following his guidance for his life, he had honored our marriage for 26 years.  Were there times when we had rough times?  Most definitely yes.  Did I have trust issues?  Most definitely yes, but never on those four questions.  You can’t live with someone your whole adult life, even longer than you lived with your own parents and not have a few bumps in the road.  At some point whether it is at the beginning of your marriage or in some cases the ending of your marriage, you have to ask yourself:  Can I Trust This Person?  If the answer is yes, then you have found a treasure and you need to work hard to keep that treasure.  If the answer is no, then before things even begin, you need to find out the reasons why and see if maybe the trust issues are something that can be over come or if they are something that is saying stay away this is not for you.
Would my best friend stick by me through think or thin?
I am mixed on this question.  I have my best friends from high school and we have stayed in touch fairly consistently over they years. We love and care for each other just as much as we did then, they are more like sisters than friends after all this time, but we have also let the boundaries of distance and time  influence how we interact with each other.  I have found that as I grow older I keep people at a distance through choice.  It is hard when you travel and move as much as one does when you are in the military to make and keep best friends, so the more you move the more you have to say goodbye.  Where I am now, I have been here for 19 years, longer than I lived in my home town, and I still don’t feel like it is home.  I am tied here because my husband lives here.  I have kept the friends here at a distance, knowing that when the time is right for a move, the goodbyes will be easier to handle.  So in this place where I find myself, I have not developed nor have I encouraged a best friend type of friendship.  I still look to my high school buddies for that shoulder to cry on, and sometimes the distance between us is way too much.
Now on to the last question:
Would the people I work with or for honor their word?
I am finding this to be a difficult question to answer.  I have worked in a variety of areas where the answer to this is both yes and no.  For most of my working life I have worked for someone.  I have had wonderful work places where I have enjoyed coming to work every day and did not mind staying late to finish the job.  And then I have had work places that make Satan’s home place seem like paradise.  In each of these cases the employer honored their word in very different ways.  Sometimes the forewarning is something you should listen too especially if your given the impression that life is going to be hell before you even start.  Then just walk away.  Nothing in this life is worth giving up your mental and emotional health.  No amount of money is worth the tears that are shed each night after a day of constant strife.  One of the things I told my sons as they were heading into adulthood was to find a career that makes them happy.  If they hate what they are doing while they are young they will turn into bitter old men that hate life when they are older.  Now as I am older, I find myself on the other side of the line, I am in management now.  I am finding that I now have to trust the people that work for me.  This is something that I am finding both easy and difficult to do.  I always want be able to trust the people I hire, to give them the benefit of the doubt.  I am hoping that the trust that I put into my employees is returned and that they honor their word.
My personal definition of trust:  The ability to say to someone else, I believe in you, I honor you, I am so glad you are in my life.  Here is my heart, don’t drop it, don’t break it, don’t step on it.  Let me take care of you and I will let you take care of me.

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