Chapter 5 – Emily Remembers

It’s been five years now since the last time Emily saw Sarah.  She wondered what she would look like now.  She would be five years old today.  Why Emily still thought of her as Sarah she did not know.  The baby’s name had been changed immediately to something else.  So much has changed since Sarah went away.

Emily got her Masters Degree in English and Drama from the University of New Mexico, UNM for short.  She moved to a small subdivision just outside of Moriarty called Sweetwater Hills and had been living there for about three years.  She had also been teaching at Moriarty High School in Moriarty, New Mexico.  Their new drama department known as “The Pinto’s Pride” was now the biggest high school drama department in the state.

There were people recruiting her right and left wanting her to go to work for them.  They all wanted her to implement a program just like this one in their schools.  There were schools calling on her all the way from the East Coast to the West Coast.  There was even a school from her hometown of Asheboro, North Carolina recruiting her to work for them.  Emily wondered if that had anything to do with her parents.

It has been almost nine years since she has seen her parents’ face to face.  Emily still dropped them a post-card every once in a while to let them know that she was alive.  But there had never been anything from them the entire time to even acknowledge receipt of the post-cards.  So Emily did not know if they even read them.  She had hoped that just once they would change their minds about disowning her and talk to her.  But that had never happened.

Emily had seen her brother once about three years before when he got married.  Jeremy was a bit time lawyer now in Washington, DC and he was marrying the daughter of a well-known senator.  He did not know she was there, since she had dressed in disguise to keep him from knowing.  The funny thing about that was Emily felt he had known who she was the whole time she was there.

There was just something about the way he waived his left pinky finger at her.  It was the same secret waive they had used as children when they knew that they had done something wrong and wanted to have some much needed support from each other.  Emily had not returned her secret waive (pointing first one finger and then two fingers – meaning “you too”) to him for fear that he would come over to talk to her, but she did acknowledge it with a small waive of her own.  He had just nodded his head and went on with getting married and having the time of his life at the reception.  Watching them Emily hoped that the happiness they were feeling now would continue for the rest of their lives.  She felt kind of left out for a while, even a little bit jealous, but then decided that since she was really crashing the party she had no reason to feel that way.

Emily’s sister Susan was now an obstetrician in a well-known hospital in Los Angeles.  She was now married and had a set of twins that were three years old, which is why she had not been at Jeremy’s wedding.  If she had been Emily felt sure that her disguise would not have lasted for long.  Emily had not seen her either in all that time, although they did talk in the phone once in a while.  That was the hardest thing for Emily since Susan had been her best friend when they were growing up.  Susan was two years older than Emily and had instantly taken on the role of protector and defender for Emily.  In fact, her job as an obstetrician was the best thing that she could have become.  Susan’s love for mothering things from stray cats to baby sisters was a great building block for a career that cared for soon to be parents.

Today was also the day that she had agreed to call Susan.  Emily was not sure that she felt up to it, she had so much on her mind.  So while she was debating the phone call that she had to make the phone rang.


“Hey there little Sis.”

“Susan, I was just thinking about you and other things.” Emily said quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll bet you were.  I’ll bet you were trying to come up with a plan to not have to call me.”


“Yep, I was right.  I knew that there was a reason for me to be calling you.  Don’t you think that it is time for this stupid family feud to end?”

“It wasn’t my idea.  And you know it.  I have been sending them post-cards since I left home and they never contact me in return.  What more can I do?”

“I don’t know sis.  Have you thought of picking up the phone and calling them once in a while?”  Susan asked with exasperation.

“To be honest Susan, the thought of even looking like I am crawling home begging for forgiveness for making a career choice that I love makes me think that the silence is a whole lot better.”

“Sis, what am I going to do with you?  Promise me that you will call me next time.  I never wanted what Mom and Dad are doing to come between us.”  Emily could hear the concern in Susan’s voice.  While she knew that it was true concern she still had not told Susan about anything in her past dealing with New York and the baby.

“Susan, I have to go.  I have some plans that I need to work on.  Okay, you take care.  I promise that I will be the one to call you next time.  I can’t guarantee when, but it won’t be more than a month from now.  Okay, 1433 always.” Emily had to remind her sister of their secret message.  1 – I; 4 – love; 3 – you; 3 – too.  She hoped her sister knew just how much she loved her.

While the changes in Emily’s life in the past five years were numerous, they still did not include anyone permanent and there were no more children.  Emily had locked that part of her life away and she wondered if anything would ever change in that area.  It wasn’t that she still loved Jack, but that she knew her life would have been so much more different than it was now if that accident had not happened.  For one thing, Emily now remembered the argument that they were having on the night of the accident.

Jack had been yelling at her that there was no way he would marry her if she insisted on having and keeping the baby.  He just could not see how they could start married life with a child and be able to find or maintain any type of work in their field.  Besides, he had a reputation to up hold as the hunk on a daytime soap, and how would it look if he had a child within days of being married.

Emily knew that he was making excuses.  Jack had rescheduled their wedding four times.  Each time was for some stupid reason or another, he had to make a shoot in Los Angeles, he was going to be on location in Greece, or his mother was sick and couldn’t make it to the wedding.  His grandmother had raised Jack; he didn’t even know where his mother was.  That only thing that Jack cared about was Jack.

Emily knew that even though Jack was dead, she would still have kept her daughter if she had only remembered sooner what the argument was about.  She knew that there would never have been a wedding of her own with Jack.  He just wasn’t ready for that type of commitment.  But she would have been able to plan better and come up with a different way of handling thing than the way she did.

As Emily sat in her house watching the sun set through her large picture window on the desert, she knew so well, she lit a candle on a small birthday cake and silently wished her daughter a happy birthday.


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